"Oh, come on! That was way more than 100 pounds." --Droz, PCU

singingrenwench point out this article to me this afternoon. It's about petri-meat. Ya know... test-tube grown meat from animal stem cells. And she wasn't sure how she felt about it.

So I started thinking about.

If they can find a way to make this stuff cheaply, I imagine it would mostly show up in fast food meats. There's already a lot of soy in that stuff (or there was anyway).

And if it was that cheap, would real meat get more expensive as it would be considered a delicacy? Perhaps even a ban on selling real meat. Then we'd have a cow overpopulation.

And what would be the effect on cattle ranchers if suddenly people had a cheaper alternative? Maybe if it's a delicacy, they make more. Maybe if it's not, they are hurt economically?

On the flip side, it could be used to help in countries where food is scarce. If we can cheaply grow food, world hunger may be a thing of the past. I smell overpopulation. Okay, that's a bit insensitive but eventually, we are going to run out of room and there should still be SOME natural selection.

Could they make it healthier than real meat? They seem to think they could reduce the fat content. Would be good for this increasingly overweight society of ours.

Then there are the political ramifications. Without a doubt, the right wing nut jobs would protest it as being unnatural. We'd be playing god and that's just not right. But we wouldn't be creating whole animals, just their yummy bits. (BTW: I'm all for cloning new body parts. I could use some.)

Then there's the left. The tree huggers could be all, "Now we don't have to slaughter poor defenseless animals." And I'm sure SOME of the vegans and vegetarians would just look at this as another fake meat product, so they'd be okay with eating it... maybe.

But at the far left are the animal rights people who instead of taking joy in not slaughtering animals, and having a need to protest something, would believe this is just another form of abusing animals as we're using those poor defenseless stem cells. For once, the left and right wing nut jobs would be in agreement. Imagine the chaos that would insue from this. Peaceful protests combined with meat production plant bombings. But secretly, both groups are enjoying their new fake-steak burger from McDonalds.

And how would the Indian populace handle artificial cow? Would they protest because the cow is a sacred animal? Or would they enjoy a nice plate of "steak" tips?

And speaking of religion, what about the Muslims and Jews? Suddenly, there would be KOSHER PORK on the market. Because it's not real pork. Millions of jews and muslims enjoying Bacon and Eggs. Which brings up another question. Is it meat or dairy? It's not REALLY meat. So could we now enjoy ham and cheese at Bar Mitzvahs? Jews and Muslims would be debating this... AMONG THEMSELVES! "Peaceful" civil war would break out in Israel, Muslim Nations and, of course, Brooklyn.

CANNIBALISM! I forgot cannibalism. They mention it in the article. Some people want to eat themselves. Okay, that's a bit gross but I say have fun. But once again, the religious nuts will get involved here. Should we be growing human meat much less eating it? (Although I must admit, I am interested in what a side of Edna would taste like.)

Turns out, I'm not done.

Imagine now, if you will, millions of people replacing their vegetible gardens with meat gardens. Or supplimenting them. Growing your own dinner. "Is dinner ready yet, Marge?" "Not yet, dear, it's still growing." Harvesting carrots, tomatos, cucumbers and chicken breats. Would being a whole new meaning to "garden burger" wouldn't it?

The great meat debate may never end my friends. There are those who will never except petri-meat as real food, no matter what good or bad may come of it. We will have debates for many many years. It will go to the supreme court, the United Nations, and some guy named Phil. Where do you stand on the great qusi-meat debate?

(NOTE: If you have not been offended a little by this, let me know where you stand and I'll try to work it in.)

Another reason to hate Dubya...

I missed this when it ran on March 5.

Last roundup for wild horses